Fifty Shades of Censored: The humor, sex, awe-mazing soundtrack, and black spots on screen.

Yesterday I was finally able to watch Fifty Shades of Grey! It was my first time watching a movie in the cinema alone. I was going to ask my older sister to watch it with me, but she secretly went and watched with a friend **hmmp!**

So what did I think about the movie.. as someone who has read the books, I enjoyed it actually. I liked the texture and color tones, sticking to clean lines and clean palettes. I'm not really sure how to best describe it, just that it's not a psychedelic barrage of warm colors. Jamie Dornan was great, but my favorite was Dakota Johnson. I know most fans were more vocal about their concern about her maybe looking too old (why they think that, I have no idea. She's youthful looking and beautiful to me), or her personality's not "Ana". She nailed her role perfectly, I must say! She added much-needed humor and gave off the innocent, inexperienced vibe really well.

Speaking of humor in the movie, I already knew there were lots of it from the authors and bloggers who attended the advance screening couple weeks back. What I didn't expect was the humor injected in the contract negotiation scene. I thought that was really clever! The contract has always been an issue for non-Fifty fans. They don't realize, and I guess they just can't understand and accept that that's indeed the norm for the BDSM lifestyle. By making the conversation light and allowing giggly Ana to draw the audience's attention to specific parts of the contract, I thought that helped making the non-readers actually pay attention to the idea of a contract in a Dom/Sub relationship.

Now for the sex scenes. I thought they were done tastefully. Director Sam Taylor-Johnson did not make it all smokes and mirrors, with cameras gliding, slow-motions, and so forth. The movie didn't have that. They really showed where the hand went, how the legs were splayed, how the rope was tied, etc... and my goodness, Dakota! I got that she got naked for this, of course, but I thought it would be like, one scene topless, cut to the next scene showing butt. That suggests she was partly clothed most of the time. No, she really did go all-out naked. Jamie as well, but no full-frontal for him! 

The scenes were quite realistic, actually, but cleaner and neater, if you get what I mean. Dakota and Jamie are very good-looking people, they look handsome and beautiful even while flushed and sweating. 

The third star of the movie, and I think many would agree with me, is really the soundtrack! Fifty Shades of Grey has an amazing soundtrack!!! I've read lukewarm reviews that can't even deny how perfect and awe-mazing the songs were in this movie. Let me tell you... that first time Ana and Christian are in the playroom? My heart just thumped stronger and faster because each step Christian took in tying Ana up, the beat of Beyonce's "Crazy in Love" synced perfectly in the background. I swear, the entire cinema held its breath as Christian poised to hit Ana's skin with that flogger for the very first time. 


Honestly, I think even the men in the room flinched a little. 

Simply put, the music was excellent! They songs were sexy but not sleazy, made the scenes more sensual, and they just left this impression of more things are coming.

Now to round up my review, I wanna talk about the black spots on the screen! LOL! Seriously, adding to the humor of the movie is how the MTRCB (Movie and Television Review Classification Board), the governing body responsible for rating media in the Philippines, blocked out parts of the screen during sex scenes. I had no opportunity to clutch my cheeks and blush because instead of seeing the, ahem... *thrusting*... what was on screen was a giant blur. It might just be me, but I found it really funny! That scene when Ana lost her virginity, I think the blur took up two-thirds of the screen. You could only see up to Jamie's shoulders on the leftmost side of the screen. In the scenes where Dakota was fully nude, a huge black spot would appear over her groin area. It would only disappear when she's turned around and her bum's facing the audience. Yep, bum and nipples are allowed on Philippine screens. :p

Oh, you get the picture. All the parts that are full frontals, or even just a hint of pubic hair showing, they are immediately covered with black circles or oblongs. I found it all really funny!

My favorite part of the film... actually they are two. The first is shown in the trailer just after Christian and Ana first met. He sees her off as she goes in the elevator.

Then there's the very last scene in the movie. Again, Ana is inside the elevator and Christian is looking on. 

The same lines, only this time the emotions and implications behind those words are the exact opposite. It was quite a heartbreaking scene. Watch the film, and you'll know exactly what I mean. 

So, if you are a fan of the books, I think there's a really good chance you'll like the movie =) They didn't make major changes, just a few tweaks in the pacing and lengths of the dialogue. They did a good job of it, in my opinion. It would have easily gotten old if they were to keep going back to the red room three, four, five times. You can expect nudity (nothing gross I assure you) lots of funny moments, incredible soundtrack, and if you are from the Philippines, be ready for the blurs and black spots!



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